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With heart palpitating, I played his voicemail message. To them I reply, "If you're offended by this old-fashioned custom, then don't be shy about whipping out your wallet instead." In truth, it doesn't matter who forks over the cash as long as someone does it⎯fully. Taking someone out, being taken out...a rendezvous like this is sexy. There's a reason horny manakin birds do a moon dance and hippos spray their lovers with wet feces. Be happy you're not one of those female mites who kills her mother and brother while breeding. Then dare yourself to get though them all before coffee stains become visible in the cup. Be Exactly Who You are, Though This Means You'll Get Rejected After a slew of emails, Chris and I agreed to meet in front of a museum.
I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. If you answered yes to any of these, you might need a list of polite questions you can bring along on your dates.
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Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary. Sometimes I'd get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. My opinion is this: If a same-sex couple is meeting for the first time, one of you should assume full financial responsibility. At first I thought we both had on the wrong outfits.
I'd like to blame this on a bunch of assholes, but that's not the case. If my loved ones currently in the digital dating world are any measure, things have gotten no better since I took myself off these sites. But in doing research for a book on sex, I've also learned a lot about the mating habits of our species. Be Credit Card Sexy I think we can agree that the person paying on a date should not be your mother. Then I realized we were the wrong person⎯for each other. This taught me that the more you express your true nature, the greater the risk someone will reject you. If etiquette is a form of civility, the first one we should extend this to is ourselves.
I'd venture to say⎯barring a nasty diagnosis or a death in her immediate family⎯she wasn't attracted, even though she liked him. In other words, she was either avoiding an act of rejection, or she was using him for his brain. Now I was being tested on a subject I knew nothing about. If you don't want someone like me, please let your freak flag fly right away.
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